Thursday, January 15, 2004

Ok, ok! It's been a minute since I posted anything here. I made this blog my homepage so I would be reminded daily to post something, but most days I look at it and well...well, I just don't have anything interesting to say. What the hell has been on my mind lately? Hmm..yesterday was my birthday, I guess that explains why I've been thinking about what it means to grow older for the past week. My self-flagellating tendencies are already legendary, but this week I really took my ruthless introspection to another level. Surprisingly, I came out of it feeling relatively good about myself. I figured out that what is important to me is that I continue to grow as I age. When I say grow, I mean it in a variety of ways - for example, expanding my knowledge of the world, or enhancing my financial security, or developing a more mature sense of morality/spirituality/responsibility, etc. But for me to "grow", in the most important sense, is to expand one's sphere of action. Before you start calling me a megalomaniac - hear me out! For me, these other types of growth I've mentioned are not ends to themselves, rather they are increasingly powerful tools towards a greater end. I have a strong belief that to be called in any real sense a "human being", one must be devoted to creating positive action in the world - helping your fellow man should not be a lofty goal, rather a prerequisite. I also believe that before one can do any good for others, one must have his own house in order. So, the more fully realized the man - the more penetrating his action. Looking back on that past year, I think I've made some progress towards developing my capacities - and I believe I've touched some lives along the way as well. I wouldn't go so far as to say what I feel is self-congratulatory, but it's actually quite a feat for me to come out of my unending doubtfulness with a even the slightest sense of a achievement and hope. So here's to another year on Earth! Countless moments, each pregnant with possibility - what will tomorrow bring?

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